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The Aftermath

Posted by Omar Mendez on

Journal Entry - 6/11/24

Foo after the past month, I’m at the brink. Triggers that bring up judgment, jealousy, rage, trust issues, anxiety, insomnia, etc. Tell me that doesn’t sound like something that would leave you in shambles. Am I going to crumble?

After yesterday’s event, I’m at the point of exhaustion. I keep saying it because it’s how I truly feel, exhausted. I was talking to my spirit guides yesterday and I was just reflecting on how much change I’ve gone through in the past 2 years. I was saying it in a negative way like “Why do I have to keep being patient when I’ve been doing the work”. A whole tantrum. Then when I finished complaining I realized, “Deam foo, I have changed. Changed for the better”. At that moment I didn’t even remember why I started complaining to my spirit guides and yeah I know I shouldn’t do that but still. I felt so proud of myself that I started laughing. What a journey. 10 steps forward, one giant leap backwards it’s how it feels.

I talked to ANHEL about my rage and he said “Energy moving through you.” I didn’t get what he was saying but I could feel this negative energy lifted off my soul kind of. It took a broken iPad but fuck it. I saw a post later that day that said “Emotion is just energy in motion.” Literally what ANHEL had just told me. All those emotions I have been feeling this past month have always been inside me but were stuck. My art motto is “Release for Peace” and it is why I have been drawing so much. I only go on drawing sprees when I’m about to elevate. It happened in 2022 and it’s happening now. Makes me feel better and my room look dope.