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Finding Balance

Posted by Omar Mendez on

Journal Entry - 6/6/2024

Foo what is balance? I have a hard time with it. When I go into flow state while creating, nothing else matters. It sounds fucked up but nothing else matters at that moment besides the project I’m working on. Sometimes at the expense of everything else. My body because I skip workouts or I’m burning up so much energy so I need to end my fast early. Foo sometimes I forget to breathe and drink water. My job because I can’t lock in the way I’m supposed to. My family because I lock myself in my room and just work. My dogs because they don’t get to see me. My homies because they don’t get to hear from me. My room and other responsibilities get neglected. 

Now my mind, well that is running faster than the speed of light. It’s flowing. Whether I’m working on music, writing a song or writing poetry, I’m on one. Caffeine or no caffeine because sometimes it doesn’t matter. When I decide to go on a photography adventure sometimes I’m so locked in I forget I’m human. I don’t draw all the time but when I do get that urge, I forget where I’m at once I begin. And my soul, well I know that it is happy. 

It’s what happens to my mind, body & soul when I exit the flow state where I need to figure out how not to feel guilty. Like when I finish writing a song, I feel good for a koo second then realize that it’s time to go to sleep and I didn’t get to talk to my Mom about my day. Or on the weekends when I’m locked in, when I finish my project, I look out the window to see my Dad cleaning up the area he used while he was working on the house or something and I feel bad cuz I didn’t get to help. I am finding that balance so that I don’t experience that guilt anymore. Foo trust, when I’m in flow state, I don’t give a fuck. Ima release for peace.